As usual, I purchased this selection based on the label. I don't look at years or vineyards or flavor profiles. I look at the pretty pictures-a label that appeals to the type of adventure I plan to have on any given evening. Something that fits my mood. On this day, the whimsical art nouveau cutie on this bottle was who I wanted to be. I needed some female energy in my boy-infested life, at my pick-your-part of a house.
My boyfriend builds cars. Lots of cars. I live in MOPARLAND.
|This is my yard. Boys live here. Rowdy ones.|
Normally $15 smackers, this decadent (twist top!) beauty would typically be out of my league, but the Safeway gods were feeling gracious, and for $7.98 I skipped home girlishly with my girly wine bottle, ready to girl it up. I even put on a fancy dress, and a hat. A LADY hat.
As I savored my first taste, I continued to savor the label. The description was beyond corny-that'll teach me to read instead of just enjoying nice pictures.
"**warning may cause whiplash
You do a double take...you know, "It's a headsnapper!" Yeah, we get it.
The description explained that this wine was racy and vibrant, and had hints of gooseberry, kiwi-lime and tart green apples-and it DID. (I have no clue what a gooseberry is. Is that even a real thing? Fucking gooseberry...it sounds like a bougie blackberry.) Regardless of my gooseberry skepticism, the verdict on this $15 girly wine?
I hate that word with the fire of a thousand suns, but nevertheless, I find myself using it now. Fucking YUM. So yummy. Gah! I hate myself for typing it. I want to punch myself in the face for typing it again, but THERE JUST ISN'T ANY OTHER WORD.
It DID taste like racy kiwis and exciting apples! It WAS vibrant.
You guys! It was indeed...a headsnapper! I think I have a new favorite to bring to dinner parties and then hog all of. The bugs loved it.