Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Firefly Ridge 2013 Pinot Gris $7

“Our wines are a symbolic tribute to the mysterious and romantic firefly. The firefly’s brilliant luminescence is reflected in each vintage of Firefly Ridge wines.”

SOLD.

I love a good pitch, and this wine did not disappoint.

Sometimes when I’m drinking vino, I like to imagine myself reclining on a log in the bayou, balmy breeze blowing through my tresses as fireflies flit along the water in a dance sequence they choreographed just for me. Hidden in the mossy green, bullfrogs sing as my bare feet lazily swing...oooh...a swing! Reclining on a SWING, in the flowing off-white dress my lover bought me, just because I'm so pretty...

...and I'm a classy lady!

That’s totally where I went in my head when I read the back of this bottle, which is why that lady in the store aisle with me said, “Excuse me, is this your baby?” gesturing a little rudely in the direction of my giant stroller parked askew as I gazed into the distance.

Of course it’s my baby. Does she think people just leave babies in liquor aisles unattended? What kind of mother does that?

What a weirdo.

Anyway, my backyard isn't exactly a bayou, it's more like a wooded creek. If you don't look up at the busy hiking trail that gives a perfect view directly into my bedroom window, you can pretend you're out in the wild. Unfortunately we're in a major drought, so the creek is already dried up. Not exactly the locale I was shooting for, but the wine worked for me.

Melon. Who knew. The bottle said it tasted like melon, and it did, and it made me very happy. The bugs liked it too, and I went through considerable effort to fight them for it, even spending a good two minutes digging one out instead of just dumping a little of the precious liquid melon-y gold.

Maybe that's a good rating system-the suicidal bug rating. How many kamikaze insects gave their lives for a taste of your tangy adult beverage.

I give this one 4 suicidal bugs.